fat is most definitely a feeling, thin is the ultimate skill ...

Tuesday, 8 February 2011

i feel like im failing. the one thing i had total fucking control over is slowly slipping away. i dont know if this is because im getting better or its because im a complete joke and cant even keep up with the task in hand.

im petrified about gaining weight and i am a million miles away from being ' content ' but my eating habits recently have become lazy and some what NORMAL. I am keeping a food diary (as per) but i am not serious about keeping the number low . i keep thinking ' ohhhh fuck it ' you can start again tomorrow.. and then think because i am starting again tomorrow i can eat what i want for the rest of the day- this cycle has continued for almost a week.

I need to stay away from friends and family, they seem to find any excuse to eat. to celebrate they will eat , to watch a movie they will eat , to go on a date they will eat. i don't want to be around people like that - i want to obsess about calories and read books about weight loss. i want to cut out pictures from magazines and re arrange my fav celebs in order of size , i want to be where i used to be . i felt happy when i was in my weird little world and there was only me to fight with and me to contend with.

i need to make a new deal with myself - a belated new years resolution ' go back to being a recluse girl ' .. do what you do best !

remember what this is all about and remember why you are doing it .. you need to be thin ! if you are thin you are beautiful ! if you are thin you will be happy ! being average is NOT acceptable ! being average you might as well be FAT ! YOU ARE FAT ! FAT is ugly ! YOU ARE UGLY ! STARVE = THIN - FACT !!

STARVE STARVE STARVE STARVE STARVE STARVE .....

4 comments:

thinspo-girls said...

Hi, hun <3
I am running a thinspo-blog where I upload 20-50 thinspo-pics per day.
Maybe you have a picture or a few you want me to post?
You can at least check the page out :)
Take care!

... Love LA Xx said...

Hello ..

Thanks for the the update - my spologies for the delayed response I havent logged in for a while .

thinspo blog sounds great.Ill follow Xx

Sunshinechild said...

I know what you mean about the "aw fuck it" state of mind. One slip up and the whole freaking day is out the window. I'm having a hard time getting out of that routine but tomorrow is day 0 and the weight is only going to drop from here. Want to fast with me tomorrow?

... Love LA Xx said...

hey sunshinechild. i didnt see your message. the start of a brand new SKINNY week tomorrow. I would love to commence with a fast ..Xx