happy new year gorgeous girlies !!
great start to the year - I'm in therapy .. not because of my rebellious eating habits but its more to do with the deterioration of my mental health. recently i have been suffering from bouts of psychosis which to be honest has had me freaking out. i have been hallucinating the most strangest things , somtimes magical which i tend not to be too disturbed over but then there are the not so magically things that haunt me sometimes all through the day.
my therapist suggests that i take some happy pills but looking through my notes she pointed out that there is a chance that the pills will make me gain weight , to which i have a phobia (obvs)so its not even debatable - i will just have to ride this thing out COLD TURKEY - did i really just mention turkey ?? Yuk
I'm not too sure how long these sessions are going to last but I'm hoping not too long , i appreciate the help that i have been given but i don't want them to get too deep . my last session she started to talk about feelings and patterns in my behaviour , eating cropped up - I'm not too comfortable with discussing these, i hate telling people about what happens when the bathroom door closes behind me and my head is sat in a toilet bowl.
I would prefer them to clear my mind free from the poisoned thoughts but leave me to continue my fight against fat , I'm not sure if that is even possible. the mind is a powerful thing i don't know if the two are linked.
Only time can tell ..
stay strong , stay thin XxXx