Skinny Cow .....

Monday 20 December 2010

I feel myself getting anxious as i count down the days until christmas ..

I have myself most definitly in the zone - i have been working hard over the weekend but as the hyp & hysteria take over both friends and family everybody is palnning sit down dinners , luncheons , wines & party i am starting to doubt my willpower.

from past experiences i know that the social side of christmas is the most difficult to manage - the constant top up of wine and the craming of mince pies , i dont know how i am going to avoid this. all it takes is one sip of port and my whole day will be in termoil. plus MY BIRTHDAY !! Boxing day my friends have planned a night out on the town - creamy cocktails , rich foods ( i can feel a meltdown already )

If i could get away with it and without raising any concerns i would lock myself in my apartment and hybernate , hot water bottle , handfull of movies , my low fat weightwatchers bread and my canned tomatoes. PERFECTOOO !!

I have already called the gym to check there opening times over the holidays , thankfully they are open so i can breath for a slight second ...

Normally at work i have a strict diet , low cal soup for lunch , low cal bread , apple in the afternoon and maybe a couple cups of coffee thrown in somewhere along the way (skinny coffee might i add ) today its - 5 degress my bones are aching - for some reason my stomach feels the pain more than ever today . pagnes i can normally handle - chomping through sugar free gum is my secret weapon for taming these. today was a different day i warmed up some porridge oats swallow every spoonful , i can feel the thick gloopy mass coat every inch of my throat , my lungs almost and then hits my stomach. for a minute i feel satisfied - 220 cals sat bubbling away - you seriously cant sit there indulging in this uncontrolable behaviour (screams the voice) .. i know what i want to do , what i have to do but i'm at work !

i slip out of the office silently and take myself down the 2 flights of stairs to the toilets that nobody uses - i hear the laughter of the fat nurses coming from the clinic that is adjacent to the toilet , i run the tap and cup the water , each gulp i know will aid me in my conquest..

i push my fingers to the back of my throat , tickling the soft walls I HEIVE SILENTLY ! hurry hurry hurry ! one more ! one more ! the smell of the oats and milk have a reoccuring effect - i spill until my eyes are bulging from my head. tears are streaming down my face ..

i look in the mirror completely satisfied .. i pull the make up powder from my jacket pocket and cover up my blotchy face . i blow my nose , check my teeth and i'm away. i must have been gone a while ?? i panic in case anybody has missed me ?? or anybody is waiting for me ??

i sneak back into my chair - glance around , not even a blink !

i have done it - i am chanting inside , i have suceeded EVEN AT WORK ! i embrace the swollen tonsils , i proudly disguise the redness of my knuckles and i smile as i stare through glossy eyes !!!!

JOB WELL DONE Xx

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Tips & Tricks ... Xx

Taken From Jade Her Pro-Ana Lifestyle*Take vitamin B6 and B12 supplements, they speed up your metabolism like none other * Purge in the shower, or in the sink when your music is playing. * If your about to binge, chew some gum, and think of yourself what obese people look like * Drink a glass of water every hour * Eat one meal everyday, this will help to prevent binge cravings * Take caffeine tablets * Smoke when you feel hungry * If you are craving food, brush your teeth * Eat gum all day * Sleep at least six hours a night, less than 6 hours stimulates appetite by 15% * When you sit, move your foot or something, every cal counts! * Tell everyone you're allergic to some foods * Hit your stomach when it's grumbling * Never eat when people are around * Associate food with feeling sick * Never eat anything that doesn't have nutrition labels * Save one dollar for every meal you don't eat, then buy yourself a non food present * Take a bath * Always take your vitamins * Know when your trigger binge time is and avoid it * Drink water in stead of eating * Watch fat people eat, and see how disgusting they are * Listen loud music and sing/scream * Spinning yourself in circels decreases hunger

Taken From La Petite Princess *eat smart. Eating 800 cal worth of cake is way way different then eating 800 cal worth of fruits, veggies, etc. Fruits are actually not all that great for you- although the sugar is natural, it is still sugar. So, stick to two or so a day. Make sure to get some whole grains!!! I eat only only only whole grain breads and cereal- Total Whole Grain is great because it has plenty of vitamins to make your body use up more energy during the day, and the whole grain factor. Whole grains make you feel full, provide for better skin and better stomach function. I eat it with low fat yogurt- also very important to get dairy. That's for skin and hair also. Having a low cal diet you need to watch out so that all your hair does not fall out. Yogurt is much healthier than milk. Also, check out wasa whole grain crispbreads- thats the most whole grain per calorie you will ever find

Thin Comandments

1) If you aren't thin, you aren't attractive2) Being thin is more important than being healthy3) You must but clotes, cut your hair, take laxatives, anything to make yourself look thinner4) Thou shall not eat without feeling guilty5) Thou shall not eat fattening food withoud punishing afterwards6) Thou shall count calories and restrict intake accordingly7) What the scale says is the most important thing8) Losing weight is good, gaining weight is bad9) You can never be to thin10) Being thin and not eating are signs of true will power and succes.