waaaaaaahoo !!! mission acomplished - well not literally but im one step closer to heaven baaaby. weigh in this morning - 145lbs .OVERJOYED i was 152lbs ..
so ladies just to update you . i have actually been eating and it has actually worked . ABC is definatley my new thing. fuuuuck the fasting . i have been steadily counting calories and eating 500 .. 300 ... 200 .. semi - fast (maybe chompimg on the odd carrot stick - or shoving a waffer thin piece of ham in my mouth ) SUCESS . after weeks of ' not really getting anywhere ' i have lost 7lbs just this week :)
on a darker note . wednesday it was - i clicked onto facebook scanning my ex profile and the c**nt is in a relationship. absolutely heart broken considering we only finshed 3 weeks ago. i felt sick as soon as i saw it . i starting shouting , screaming, sobbing . i couldnt believe what i was seeing. the selfish bastard didnt even think to delete me from his friends list. didnt even have the balls to tell me - anyways after 2 hours of sobbing histerically i drown my sorrows in a bottle of red. absolutely suicidal i locked myself in my room and contempalted putting an end t my misery- FUCK NO !! i would not let him win. i would not let him do this to me.i wouldnt let him do that to my family and friends . im better than that but the thought was there. i phoned the samaritans - a help line . i talked with a guy who basically let me rambble on and on about my situation with dogg face .. i talked about the fat bitch that i have turned into .. about my relationship with my mama & her raging husband. by the end i was feeling much better. he arranged to call me back thurday..
in other news i have been to veiw an apartment today - i have fallen in love with it . i have advised the agent that i am dying to move in. i have filled in all the ppwk and paid my fees so fingers crossed laaaaydeez. i hope i get it. i feel i need my independence back. i will desperately miss my room mate but she is loved up at the minute. he is at our place every day and nyt. basically lives there. obviously not the greaset arrangement - i feel i need my own space. at least this way i have something to concentrate on. something to put all my effort into ( as of ana isnt enough lmao )
thanks for reading ..
much love Xx