not feelin it today girlies .. i feel like iv done nothing put eat . to sumaries 1 x cupa soup 104cals , spoonful coleslaw 34cals , small salad (not sure too sure) 80cals , half tin veg soup 134cals and a vanilla slice 113cals. GRAND TOTAL 465 . i know its not loads but i feel likei have been constantly shoveling food into my big fat gob. eeewh !!
im still up at my mas - i feel sick at the thought of a weigh in . i have been away from my scales since friday but im going home tonight . what wil the scales say ??!!! ooooooh i hope its attractive. i hope i have made some progress fingers crossed **
i am really disappointed that i have not done any exercise either.. i desperately want to go to the gym but my ex fella goes to the same gym ( he bought us yearly memberships together - how cute NOT !!)the thought of seeinmg him makes me sick to my stomach .. its painfull enough knowing that he is still walking this earth . knowing that he is still alive and getting on with his life when all i want to do is die. the thoght of not being with him is driving me insane.....
*BITCH SLAP !!
*SORT YOUR HEAD OUT - YOU KNOW THAT HES NO GOOD !!
*.... but i love him millions
*HES NOT WHAT YOU NEED
*.... hes what i want
*HES WHAT YOU THINK YOU WANT
all the energy i use up daily thinking and wondering about him i wish i could channel to other parts of my body my day would be electric ... i would be exercising every millisecond of the day . my mindset would be focused on my calorie counting . and if i could only smile as much i smiled when i was with him then people would stop being concerned about me and stop thinking im tip toeing along the borders of a nervous breakdown ... arrrrrrrrrgh . i hate you so much right now !!!!!
lots of love ..
miserably fat Xx