fat is most definitely a feeling, thin is the ultimate skill ...

Thursday, 4 June 2009

hello gorgeous girlies ... so not posted for a few days, hmmmm where to start. well last friday me and a girlfriend decided we would have a nyt in. we partied pretty hard.. altho i was in bed shortly after midnight. had a bangig headache and had thrown up for what seemed like forever. not sure where it came from as i had been fasting for the majority of the week. aaaaaaanyways , i jumped on the scale on saturday morning utterlery infactuated with the reading 9st 13lbs - omg i couldnt believe it. so so so so happy ... didnt last long :( i went to the haidresses on saturday morning to get my new hair. after everything going on in my life ( me depressed about my weight, depressed about the split with my boyf ) i decided i wanted to change me.. i mean the old me wasnt workin !!! previously mid blonde i am now officially a red head..and its short and i luuuuuuuuv it. my smile didnt last long when i returned home i jumped on the scale hoping that my new hair would mean even more weight loss - but no !! - pure devastation i weighed exactly the same as i did yesterday despite throwing up most of the night, despite the scale reading 9 st 13lbs and despite my my new du. not impressed - BOOOOOOO !!

i presume that i was so dehydrated that i had no water in my body to weigh in - eeeeek. not a good idea to starv and dehydrate so i decided ' get over it '.

i have had quite a good week this week. i have consumed no more than 300 cals per day. (no change in weight though - to be perfectly honest iv not been exercising enough. 20 minute runs before work and not exactly going to help with my pro ana life style i desperatly need to work harder and for longer ) iv had an ugly breakout of coldsores - ewwwwh . i have three in total. my house mate is getting worried about me. shes constantly commenting on my weight, on my eating and on my appearance. she says that i look so tired and run down because im not eating properly.( i am i am i am - i tell her )last nyt when i came home from work she has cooked me up a full plate of chicken n sauce with chips and vegtables.. i had to eat it in front of her - i felt disgustin. i couldnt even purge , that would have been too obvious. she would of heard me anyways. this is not good laaaaydeez.

in other news . i have decided i need to get myself a weekend job. me and my best friend are planning a trip around america next summer and to fund this i need to be makin mega bucks. i already have a full time job but its defo not enuuuuuuuff. plus i figure that if i busy busy busy there wil be no time to spend money , definatley no time to eat and just think of all the calories i will be burning working 7 days. happy daaaaaaaays . fingers crossed - sooner rather than later

oooooh well thats ne done for today. guna read some of your blogs now ... im dying to find out how ppl are getting on with the ABC - thinking bout trying it..

take care daaaaarlins

keep up the good work Xx


SophiaRuins said...

i had that exact same problem with dehydration.
i weighed when i was really dehydrated, then got upset when i found out that was my weight without water.
i actually contemplated not drinking so much water, but hey fuck that im a thirsty girl =P

XOXO Sophia Ruins <3

... Love LA Xx said...

i absolutely love the first weigh in of the day ... its the evening weigh in that i hate . as soon as i get in from work i automatically feel fatter , heavier ... i hate it . Xx

Tulip said...

Hey, I don't want to say too much here but I'd like to get to know you a bit better because I'm also from Manchester, please drop me an email at tulipstouch@gmail.com :-)

Flushed Again said...

It so annoys me when people think my body and eating habits are their business. My body, my business. Or maybe that's just me. Anyhow, I feel your frustration but don't fret the damage can (and will) be undone.